From sun, sea and sand to the city life of a student.

I have a long list of work that I should be doing and limited hours to be doing it in but I thought I would take some time to procrastinate... This is what life has become like at university. Living away from home means that I've got so many more distractions and no one to make me sit down and study (although Callum does a pretty good job of taking my phone away and locking me in my room until I get "in the zone"). Regardless, I wouldn't change it for the world! 

Before I came to university I didn't want to get my hopes up and be disappointed so I told myself that whoever I live with will be really messy and we might not click and that I'd probably get really homesick. In reality, although the kitchen occasionally needs a tidy, my flatmates are better than I could ever have imagined. They have become like a second family to me and although I'm missing my parents and Betsy, I haven't really felt homesick at all. My social life has never been better (which is probably why I never get any work done...)

The only thing that has taken some adjusting to is the work load. Taking a gap year meant that I lost the routine of studying and having the motivation to concentrate and although it's getting easier as the term goes on, I still struggle to get work done after 4pm (strange, I know). Saying that, I don't regret my gap year at all. It taught me a lot about my self and it's a year of my life that I will never forget. 

A little high note to finish on: my first published piece of writing is in the Courier newspaper if anyone wants to take a look - there's a web link as they publish it online too. 

If you go to pages 14-15 the article is The Rules of Bitching.

http://issuu.com/editor.union/docs/courier_1296.compressed/0

It's time to grow up.

Is it just me, or was 2013 the fastest year yet? In my opinion, time seems to be moving faster than I can appreciate the days. Even though 2014 has only just begun, summer will have been and gone (although I get a much longer and better one living here on this sunny island) and the festive season will be back before we know it.

The start of the new year brings me the opportunity of looking for another job as hotels are beginning to reopen and vacancies are appearing. Another opportunity arising is the availability of places at The University of Malta. I recently checked my emails to find that The University of Liverpool had declined my application. Okay, I had no intentions of going anymore anyway because I want to start my life properly here in Malta but the rejection has knocked my confidence severely. Not only am I waiting for a call that should have rang yesterday from a job interview that I had last week, I'm terrified that The University of Malta will not want me either. To be honest, I don't think I can take much more and if it weren't so cold outside, I'd consider throwing myself in the sea.

These lack of options are forcing me to look at new options for myself. But what I am supposed to look at when I don't even know what other options appeal to me? How, at nineteen years old, am I supposed to know what I want to do with my life when a degree might not be an option anymore and most employers value either a degree or 'life experience' and I don't have either of those things?
Granted, I might be freaking out a bit too much but when all these things happen at once, it kind of hits you a little harder than if they happened six months apart. There are part time and full time courses available at a college here but if I don't know what career I want, how am I supposed to know which course to apply for?
There is also an extreme option which could help me get into The University of Malta if my application is rejected first time... I could go back to school full time and sit exams until I get enough credits to be accepted onto the course that I want. Why is it extreme? Ever moved to a new school where everyone is already friends and you're the new kid? Try doing that at nineteen years old. I can't just walk up to someone and say ''Want to play tea parties with me?'' like a brave five year old would. Children are brave and the older we get, the less brave we are. Social expectations and caring too much about what other people think stops us from saying what we really mean and doing what we really want - unless you're the kind of person who has the balls to do those things.

So maybe it's time to break my unfortunate chain of rejection, be headstrong about the person I want to be and grow a pair!

Happiness is a mood, not a destination.

I chose to have a gap year at the beginning of year 13. I felt suffocated by the heavy work load and stress so I opted to take a year for myself. To learn the things I wanted to learn, not because a specification told me I had to; to work and save money to avoid feeling like I had to live on bread and water at university and above all, to relax and have fun and just feel young and carefree while I still could.

Now I'm reading about all my friends and their new friends and their new lives. And I'm a little jealous. I want to experience freshers week and live away from my parents and I most definitely do not want to have to go through the entire UCAS application process again. Which I suppose is where all this is coming from. The stress of the application process. I'm spending my only day off this week researching courses and universities and feeling at a total loss. Living outside of the UK, away from the help of my school only makes matters worse. I want to talk to somebody and be advised and I want to visit each potential campus to find out if I get that yes-I-could-live-here feeling.

I'm aware that I sound like I'm regretting living here. I'm not. The more time that passes, the more I feel settled here. Especially with my new job at a hotel where everyone makes you feel like you belong. The circle of friends situation still isn't the best it could be but I guess when you move to a new country, these things take time. I wouldn't even mind just one best friend. I work so much that I hardly have time to go out anyway but I've had an idea which would require one friend minimum. In January and February the hotel that I work at closes for winter and this morning I read a fantastic article about why you should travel when you're young. So I had the epiphany of going travelling during those two months off. I don't know where but the thought is exciting. So we'll see.